


Not Good Enough

by supreme_genius



Category: Grimm (TV)
Genre: Brief mention of break ups, Established Relationship, Fighting, M/M, Nick Whump
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-24
Updated: 2013-12-24
Packaged: 2018-01-05 21:03:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,487
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1098568
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/supreme_genius/pseuds/supreme_genius
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Nick and Monroe hit a bump in the road.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Not Good Enough

**Author's Note:**

> I don't own Grimm or make money from this.  
> This is not beta'd.

"I'm never gonna be good enough for you am I?"

"What are you talking about, Nick?"

"I'm not a blutbad. I'm never going to be Angelina or even Rosalee. I'm just Nick. I'm just the stupid grimm that shoved his way into your life when you didn't want me. I shouldn't have come back, should I? I should have left after that first case. Then maybe you'd be happy. Maybe you'd be safe. You wouldn't be stomping around the house, slamming every god damned thing that comes in contact with your hand." Nick's voice cracked, unable to keep yelling. It seems that all they did anymore was fight and it was tearing Nick apart. He was starting to wish that Monroe would literally just tear him apart. It would hurt a hell of a lot less.

"Nick, I..."

"Save it, Monroe. I don't need your pity. I didn't want it when my last living relative died. I didn't want it when my girlfriend of four years, with whom I thought I'd spend the rest of my life with, left me. And I don't want it now. I should have known better. I guess there's a reason grimms and blutbaden were meant to be enemies." 

When Monroe tried to speak again, Nick just raised his hand – signaling him to stop – and shook his head. He turned on his heels and walked away. Before he had always just walked into a different room until they both calmed down, but now Nick was walking out the front door, getting into his truck, and driving away. He didn't know where to go, because normally when he was upset he ran right to Monroe.  _Where do you run to when the person you run to is the one you're running from?_

Eventually, Nick pulled into the parking lot behind VooDoo Doughnuts. With a sigh, he got out of his car and headed inside. The guy behind the counter asked where Nick’s “other half” was. He knew the guy meant Monroe; they always came in together. Nick just shrugged it off and ordered a half-dozen doughnuts and a large coffee. As he drove through town, Nick nibbled on one of the doughnuts. It was a lemon chiffon crueler – Monroe’s favorite. Ever since they started hanging out, Nick never ordered a box without one.

Nick pulled into the parking lot next to the park. It was getting dark and the last few people were heading out. After finally settling on a radio station, Nick took to devouring the other five doughnuts. He knew he wouldn’t find his happiness in the empty box, but he had hoped the dough would bury the misery that had invaded his heart. It didn’t. Not even close.

He watched as the rain started. Drops littered the windshield before completely distorting his view. He lost himself in the rain, finally able to stop thinking about the chaos his life was drowning in. But then his phone rang; Monroe’s name lit up on the screen. He stared at the screen until the screen dimmed and then Monroe’s name disappeared. Nick didn’t have it in him to answer. What could he say? He wasn’t going to apologize; he meant what he said. Then came a text message; Nick, once again, watched as the screen dimmed and then turned black. Nick leaned his head back and stared out the window, watching the rain drops gather in puddles on the pavement. As his lids became heavy, Monroe was the only thought in his mind.

Nick woke up to the sound of someone pounding on the window of his car. He just about jumped out of his skin. There was a familiar pair of red eyes staring at him from outside, which made Nick’s jack-hammering heart slow down. As glad as Nick was that it wasn’t someone trying to kill him, he wasn’t exactly thrilled that Monroe was standing there. With a sigh and roll of his eyes, Nick unlocked the door, and Monroe walked around the car and slid in the other side.

“You didn’t answer any of my calls,” Monroe said very matter-of-factly.

Nick grabbed his phone off the dashboard and flicked through the missed calls. There were seven from Monroe and two from Hank. Briefly, Nick wondered if the calls from Hank were about their case or if Monroe had asked him to call. Nick decided on the latter.

“You didn’t answer my texts, either,” Monroe added.

Nick shrugged.

“It took me almost two hours to find you.” When Nick didn’t respond, Monroe continued. “I figured you’d be hungry since you left before dinner. Went to Burgerville. Gus said he hadn’t seen you. I tried Little Big Burger. Andrea said she hadn’t seen you either. Eventually I ended up at VooDoo. Should’ve went there first. You and your damn sweet tooth.” Monroe shook his head, fought back a few tears, and stared out the window. “But at least I still know you well enough to know you always end up here. I still know you well enough to know if something is bothering you and you’re not with me, you’re here.” He cleared his throat. “And I like to think that counts for something.”

“You scare me, Monroe.” Nick was still staring out his own window, and thus didn’t see Monroe’s eyes practically bulge out of his head. “You keep talking about _us_ and planning a future. It scares me. I tried it once – planning a future with someone – and it ended horribly. You know that. You were there. You picked up the pieces of the Nick Burkhardt puzzle and put me back together.” He sighed. “I just feel like our relationship is unbalanced. Has been since we were just friends. You have always been more invested then me. I’m a bad friend, I’m an even worse boyfriend. If the pattern holds true, I’ll be the worst husband you could imagine.” Nick finally turned towards Monroe. “Your family was mad enough when they found out you were friends with a grimm. I’m not going to let you completely wreck your relationship with them by marrying a grimm. I’m not worth it, Monroe. I’m just not.”

“You know, I really didn’t want you was a friend at first. I wanted you to leave and never come back. But you did. And I helped you because I felt bad for you. But I could also relate to you. You’re not like other grimms and I’m not like other blutbaden. So, against my better judgment, I kept helping. Then I started to like helping. It gave me something to do, made me feel needed and important. I was alone for so long. And then suddenly there was someone in my life that needed me…and I liked it. I liked _you_. I enjoyed your company.” Monroe reached over and grabbed Nick’s hand. Much to his surprise, Nick didn’t pull away. “I’d still be alone if it weren’t for you, and I have no idea what I’d be doing. But I can guarantee you that I wouldn’t be happy. Sure, we fight sometimes. But that’s what couples do. And no matter how much we fight, I’m not going to stop loving you. Even if I _do_ stop liking you for a little while.” The corners of Monroe’s mouth perked up a little. “Besides, I’d rather have you than them. You don’t judge me; you like me for who I am. Even if you do think some of the stuff I like is nerdy.”

“Doctor Who _is_ nerdy, man.” Nick managed a small smile.

“Yeah, well, Jurassic Park is kinda nerdy, too.”

“Whoa! Do not hate on the dinosaurs!” Nick smiled bigger.

“So, can we go back home now?”

Nick nodded. “Yeah.”

Monroe kissed Nick’s cheek and opened his door. “I’ll meet you there.”

As Monroe got out of the car, Nick called after him. “Hey, Monroe?”

“Yeah?”

“I’m sorry.”

“Me, too.”

“I love you.”

“I know.”

Nick shakes his head. “I don’t know how you got to be Han Solo. You’re definitely more of a Chewie”

“Yeah, and _I’m_ the nerd.”

“Yep. And you’re _my_ nerd.”

Nick watched Monroe walk over to his car and get in. For the first time Nick finally felt like he deserved Monroe. He knew he’d probably mess up a million more times, but he knew he’d never stop loving Monroe and apparently that counted for something. On the way home, Nick managed to hit a few red lights and watch Monroe’s car gain more and more distance, until he couldn’t see the little yellow Beetle.

When Nick finally managed to get home, Monroe was waiting at the front door with a little box in his hand. The last time Nick looked at a box like that, he had his heart broken. But this box was different. This box held happiness, a future, a promise that Nick knew he could keep.


End file.
